disappointed

i feel a lot more exhausted than I've felt in the past 2 months....

morning started with a great sense of excitement to begin the environment part of the syllabus which later turned into much confusion about if i should study it now or later as it has more of a current affairs based syllabus rather than static parts....though i feel these are the last classes by rushikesh sir so i wouldn't get the chance to study from him later on.... I've planned to make notes from his lectures for now and at the end of 2022 prelims i would buy the shankar ias book for preparation...

coming to modern history... it's going alright after yesterday's one lecture gap of "social reform movements"...still i think the vision notes are upto the mark for that part too.....not much left to complete but i think my procastination has increased recently...hmm

at present I'm much more worried about the gaps of lectures in the psir course of shubhra ranjan...though she only dictates throughout her lecture so i guess i should just study from her notes....worrying about the optional should be given atleast 3 to 5 days before starting (**note to self)

I'm also excited about reading both the modern history books: from bipan chandra and shekhar Bandopadhyay..... history always feels home to me....

the other book, pax indica, also makes me eager because of it's roots with international relations as a subject....i need to handle the governance and IR part too delicately as i may miss out on a lot if i somehow manage to mishandle their syllabi

I haven't been in the most energy-rich state in the past 3-4 days....that would also explain not noting down the current affairs ( though I'm still regularly reading The Hindu)... every night i hope that i wake up with a long lasting strong mind and complete the day's objectives..... I've left 3 lectures of history for tomorrow and 2 lectures of environment...that counts to almost 12+ hours....plus newspaper time and current affairs note down if i decide to do that....i really hope i somehow manage to complete these unrealistic expectations....

I also have this website thing to do....but that can be postponed if i think i can give my time to these 2 subjects for those many amount of hours....

so...yeah....best of luck for the future -_-

PEACE OOT!